A Matter of Trust

Do you ever have difficulty trusting the Lord with e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g? You trust Him with your health, but you don’t trust him with your job? Do you ever pray faithfully for something you desperately want only to hear a stern “no” or “not yet, dear one”? Any hands raised? You can’t see it, but my hand is raised right now. Anyone else enjoy receiving those “you’re a really talented designer and you have such a bright future ahead of you, but…” e-mails?

Today was one of those days. To this date I have prayed fervently for 18 straight days for a certain outcome and today the Lord answered that prayer with a big fat “no.” I was certain my prayer would be answered favorably. Ask and you shall receive, right? It stinks.

Throughout the past 3 weeks Proverbs 3:5 kept coming to mind and popping up everywhere! Even in an episode of “Orange is the New Black” that I watched the other night. A few days ago I practiced my calligraphy skills and the only word I seemed to know how to spell was “trust.” Saying “Lord, I trust You” is easy. Why is it so difficult for us to follow through?

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His way is better than mine. Even though I really wanted this situation to work out a certain way I know there is a specific reason it was not meant to be. There are many prayers I am thankful that the Lord answered “no”.

I’m thankful that the Lord answered “no” to my first choice(s) of colleges. If I went to school in either California, Oklahoma, Minnesota or Chapel Hill (or anywhere else for that matter) I would not have met the amazing women at Meredith that I had the privilege of learning and living beside for 4 incredible years. I never would have experienced a Cornhuskin’. I never would have lived in Raleigh. And think of all the Bojangles I would have missed out on!

I’m thankful that the Lord answered “no” to my career desires last year. I was certain at the time I could make a future for myself in Colorado. Now I am thankful the Lord kept me in Raleigh because I, too, would not have met the people I have gotten to know over the past year.

The list goes on and on. One day I will thank the Lord for answering “no” to this request, too. In the meantime, I will continue to learn what it looks like to trust in Him with everything. Everyday. Not just on days when it is easy and convenient for me.